The Day I Said Yes
Sitting at my desk during work one day, I took some time to read and meditate on the Word of God. I turned my gospel playlist on and started worshipping God because of His goodness. Then it happened…the song that always brings me back to the day I first encountered Him came on...Shekinah Glory’s “Yes”.
As I listened to the words, I remembered what I had experienced when I was 17 years old. I attended a church play put together by my best friend, and the song “Yes” was played throughout the performance. The message of the play was very powerful and it resonated greatly within me. The lead character was a young lady who allowed peer pressure to influence her, which pushed her away from God. Every time she tried to get closer to Him, something else came in to distract her from the call God had on her life. Towards the end of the performance while “Yes” was being played, the young lady fought violently past all of the people and distractions blocking her view from God. Tired, broken and weary, she pushed and fell over them to get to God as He held out His hands towards her. God saw her fighting to reach Him and He pulled her up and into His arms, welcoming her lovingly.
One thing that stuck out to me was that even after she had ran into the Father’s arms, the same people that she had fought through still tried to pull her back. But God’s protection kept her close. He would not let her go! Suddenly, I realized that this was HER decision to avoid all of the temptations of sex, drugs, drinking, smoking, and other influences. She no longer wanted those things but made the decision to follow after God. His presence covered her in such a way that those temptations no longer had an affect over her life. Her “Yes” had been settled and solidified.
As I watched this battle ensue, it made me examine myself introspectively and I realized that I was that girl. I began to cry uncontrollably and my boyfriend who was sitting next to me, looked at me with saddened eyes. I did not know at that moment how much my life would change from this encounter, but I believe that he knew our relationship would soon come to an end. The entire church was so moved that the pastor didn’t even preach afterwards. There was really nothing more for him to say for God had moved upon the cast of that play in a very powerful way.
I walked out of the church curious about who God was and why I had reacted the way that I did. Going to Best Buy that same day, I purchased Shekinah Glory’s cd that had the song “Yes” on it.
I listened to that album for a week straight and during that time, lost the desire to do things that I used to do. I no longer wanted to listen to certain music or even hang out with certain people. I broke up with my boyfriend and started trying to figure this experience out on my own.
One day after school, while sitting outside in my car, I played “Yes” again. I did not understand why this song had pulled on my heart in such a way, but it had.
“Lord,” I said, “I know You are real. I feel You. Show me who You are. I say yes to You.”
I was looking for more and felt like this ‘guy’ named Jesus had the answers I so desperately needed. But how could I get Him outside of the church? How could I reach Him? Could He hear me? Was He even listening? These are the questions that went through my mind as I cried uncontrollably.
When I opened my mouth to speak again, words that I didn’t quite understand came out. I had never heard a language like this before and I cried even more because I was alarmed. As “Yes” continued to play, I felt such a peace come over me while I sat alone in my car. Something inside of me in that very instant changed. I didn’t know what this was but I was flabbergasted and in awe of the words that flowed out of my mouth like water.
What was this language and why did I need it? While searching through scriptures, I remembered a conversation I’d had with someone who spoke to me about Jesus. They mentioned that when a person accepted Him into their life, they would receive a Comforter, the Holy Spirit. (See John 14:16-21 and Acts 1:8). The Holy Spirit is a necessary component in this walk because He is a Keeper, a Guide, and a Giver of correction and understanding to the things of God. One of the many signs/gifts of the Holy Spirit is to speak in tongues, and you can find that in I Corinthians 12:10. On a cold October day in 2007, a sign that I had been filled with the Holy Spirit was revealed when I spoke in this new unknown language.
This was the beginning of a very new and different way of life for me. I will be honest, it has had its ups and downs. But in all those moments, I have made the choice to choose God over everything and God has never left me, just like His Word promises. I have made the choice to choose God over what is considered popular and fashionable, and if I had to do it all over again I would make the same decision. Now, don’t get me wrong, I certainly made and still make mistakes. But God has kept and shown me grace in more ways than I can even explain. My life is nothing without Jesus Christ and honestly, I am my best self with Him.
There will come a day in some of our lives when you will have to make a choice to answer God’s call. Will your answer be yes or no? My prayer is that your answer is YES.
Whatever your answer, know that God loves you, there is nothing too messy or too hard for Him to work with. He is the master at creating beauty out of tragedy. Trust me, I know because He has done that for me. He deems you worthy and necessary.
I pray you find your yes and that your heart be fixed on the things that God has in store for your life. There is true beauty in finding YOUR YES.